Content Warning: This article discusses pregnancy loss.
Motherhood's Path of Hope and Heartache
Life’s journey rarely follows a straight path, especially when it comes to the deeply personal quest for motherhood. This road can often boast a mix of hopeful beginnings, unexpected challenges and the kind of setbacks that test our strength in ways we never imagined. It’s a journey that can be filled with the intense joy of small victories and the profound grief following loss, all wrapped in the relentless hope for a happy ending.
Among these stories of perseverance, there’s one that stands out for its raw honesty and resilience—a tale not of unwavering optimism, but of real struggle, determination and the complex emotions that accompany this journey to becoming a mother. This narrative doesn’t shy away from the pain of your body failing you or the heartache of miscarriage, nor does it gloss over the complexities of adoption. Instead, it offers an unfiltered look into the ups and downs of trying to conceive, the sorrow of loss and the bittersweet path to creating a family.
This story is for anyone who’s ever waited, hoped and faced the unknown with both fear and courage. It’s a testament to the strength found in vulnerability and the power of perseverance, reminding us that even in our darkest moments, we’re capable of incredible resilience and boundless hope.
An Early Foundation of Faith
Born and raised in the heartland of northern Indiana, Jordan’s early years were deeply rooted in the rich soil of faith and community. Her quintessential midwestern upbringing overflowed with sunkissed adventures of riding bikes through cornfields, long summer days on the lakes of Michigan and snowball fights and sledding through picturesque winters.
Jordan’s home was one where Sunday mornings were as sacred as the bond among family members. She was blessed to have learned the rhythms of faith through both word and deed. Embodying the essence of Christian living, her parents laid a foundation that was as much about love as it was about belief.
It wasn’t just the weekly sermons that shaped her; it was the acts of kindness witnessed in her parents, the quiet moments of prayer before meals and the sense of belonging within her community. These experiences formed the bedrock of Jordan’s faith, an anchor that she would come to rely on in the years ahead.
Yet, for Jordan, faith wasn’t something she fully embraced without question. As a teenager, it was a familiar part of her world, yet it lacked personal depth. It wasn’t until college, faced with the challenges of independence and identity, that Jordan began to explore what her faith meant to her personally. It was a journey from knowing about God to knowing God—from faith inherited to faith owned.
This transition marked a turning point for Jordan. As she navigated the uncertainties of young adulthood, her faith began to grow roots, deeper and more resilient than she had ever known. It was this evolving faith that prepared her for the challenges to come, grounding her in a hope that, even in the darkest times, provided light.
All of this forged to build the cornerstone of her resilience. It was a gift from her Hoosier upbringing, one that would guide her through life’s most trying moments, always reminding her that strength and hope are never far out of reach.
Soulmates Through Thick and Thin
Jordan’s path took a pivotal turn when she met her hubby-to-be, Matt, at Indiana University. Despite their different worlds—Matt, an Arizona football player on scholarship, and Jordan, deeply immersed in her studies—lived just across the street from each other. Jordan reminisced, “The first time we met we talked for four or five hours. We always say we had never met before, but it was kind of like catching up with an old friend. It was like we could finish each other’s sentences.” As they talked they effortlessly shared dreams, values and laughter. This immediate connection and alignment of future goals, especially the mutual desire to start a family, cemented their bond.
Dreaming of a family together was easy for Jordan and Matt; they both envisioned a home filled with love and the joy of children. However, as they stepped into this new chapter of their lives together, they couldn’t have anticipated the hurdles that lay ahead in realizing this dream. The challenges of pregnancy and the journey toward adoption tested their resolve, yet it was their strong foundation—a blend of love, shared dreams and a faith-based marriage—that guided them through.
Their story underscores the power of partnership and shared aspirations. Together, they navigated the complexities of creating a family, demonstrating that even amidst difficulties, a united front grounded in shared values and love can overcome the greatest obstacles.
Withstanding the Storms
Jordan and Matt’s journey toward parenthood was paved with dreams and anticipation until it quickly encountered the first storm. After eight weeks of a hopeful pregnancy, the heartbreak of miscarriage reared its ugly head. This loss cast long shadows over their path, testing the limits of their faith. The loss was not only a physical and emotional trauma but a spiritual trial, plunging Jordan into the depths of what would become a long and difficult journey. Jordan expressed, “I can say and truly believe in my heart that God is good all the time, but there were moments where I was like, ‘I believe that you’re good, but I don’t feel like you’re being very good to me.’”
Their first miscarriage came as a shock, shattering their joy. Jordan grappled with a sense of isolation—a pain deepened by the societal silence around such losses. It was a solitary journey through sorrow, where whispered prayers often felt like they echoed back unheard. The experience tested her faith, challenging her understanding of God’s plan and His presence in her life.
Yet, it was through this heartache that Jordan’s faith and tenacity began to evolve. She leaned into her community, finding solace in shared stories of loss and resilience. Jordan had a close group of friends and family that brought comfort, reminding her that she wasn’t alone in her struggle. They also offered a new perspective on grace—unmerited, unconditional and often most palpable in our weakest moments. This realization brought a subtle shift in Jordan’s relationship with her faith. It became a source of strength, not for shielding her from pain, but for navigating through it.
Jordan and Matt faced two more heartbreaking miscarriages, each one leaving its mark, yet also contributing to a deepening of Jordan’s spiritual understanding. She began to see her journey not as a series of trials to endure but as a path to deeper compassion and empathy. The concept of deserving versus receiving took on a new meaning. Jordan learned to view grace not as a reward for faithfulness but as a gift freely given, especially in times of despair. This shift in perspective didn’t alleviate the pain but offered a way to bear it, providing a beacon of hope in these dark moments.
This deepened journey of faith and resilience didn’t just prepare Jordan for motherhood; it reshaped her understanding of it. Motherhood, as she came to see it, wasn’t defined by the ability to conceive but by the capacity to love, nurture and embrace life in all its complexity. Although adoption had always been a part of the Dooley’s plan, this personal revelation opened their hearts even more to the possibility of adopting, a path that would eventually lead them to experience the joy of parenthood, enriched by the trials that preceded it.
A Pursuit of Health and Answers
Jordan explored every avenue available, consulting with a spectrum of healthcare providers from traditional OB/GYNs to specialists in reproductive immunology. She sought out those who would listen closely, offer new perspectives and most importantly, collaborate with her in seeking solutions. It was this proactive approach that led her through countless appointments, tests and treatment plans, each step taken with the hope of uncovering the root causes of her fertility challenges.
Her persistence paid off in the form of invaluable insights into her health, discovering underlying conditions that had gone unnoticed like a hidden infection, thyroid issues, a clotting disorder, autoimmune issues and more. Armed with this knowledge, Jordan navigated the complex world of treatments and care plans with determination, adapting her lifestyle and undergoing various therapies to create the best possible conditions for pregnancy. She tucked away all of this information in the hopes that God would grant her another chance for a healthy pregnancy. This journey through health and healing was not just about seeing a healthy pregnancy to term, but about advocating for her well-being, a testament to her resilience and the depth of her desire to embrace motherhood.
Joy in the Waiting
During the challenging waits that marked their journey toward parenthood, Jordan found unexpected avenues for growth and joy. She embraced the philosophy of living intentionally, focusing on what she could control—her actions and outlook—rather than the uncertainties ahead. Jordan explained to us, “Something I had to kind of intentionally do to find the strength to find joy and make the most of the season I was in, was to really find ways to not let the waiting season be a wasted season.”
Jordan turned to hobbies that brought her happiness and a sense of achievement. Gardening and creative writing became not just enjoyable pastimes, but essential practices for her well-being, offering her peace and a creative outlet for her emotions. These activities reminded her that growth and beauty can emerge even in hardship.
Recognizing the importance of mental health, Jordan also sought therapy. It became a vital space for processing her emotions, fostering resilience and understanding the power of seeking support. Therapy offered insights into her strengths and highlighted the importance of vulnerability.
Her faith remained a cornerstone of her journey, with prayer and the support of loved ones providing a foundation of peace and hope. These spiritual practices offered comfort, grounding her amidst the tumult of loss and waiting.
Welcoming Life's Surprises
Before they struggled with pregnancy loss, Jordan and Matt had already felt a divine pull towards adoption, a decision reflecting their resilience and capacity for love. This inclination wasn’t a sudden pivot but an integral part of their journey, showcasing their readiness to embrace parenthood’s challenges and joys, guided by faith in a higher plan.
The adoption process mirrored the unpredictability and emotional complexities of their pregnancy journey, filled with anticipation and lengthy legal processes. However, the unexpected call about a baby boy waiting for them marked a serendipitous turn, transforming years of uncertainty into a moment of pure bliss. This wasn’t an end to their struggles but a beautiful beginning—the welcoming of a new dimension of love into their lives.
Bringing their son, Noah, home was a deeply gratifying milestone, imbued with laughter, tears and the profound love they had envisioned. This experience, woven into their broader journey, highlights the diverse and miraculous ways families come together. It’s a narrative illustrating the remarkable journey of faith, resilience and becoming parents through adoption.
In the middle of their adoption process, Jordan and her husband got the incredible news that she was pregnant for the fourth time! What an incredible gift. Closely working with her reproductive immunologist through this pregnancy, Jordan gave birth to a beautiful and healthy baby boy named Shepherd. The Lord favored the Dooley family by blessing them beyond measure with not just one baby, but two.
Jordan’s dreams of motherhood were beautifully realized in the forms of Noah and Shepherd, two boys whose close ages paint a vivid picture of her journey’s challenges and triumphs. She explained, “God gave us a double portion and kind of redeemed a really broken journey, path and story all of a sudden. He doesn’t give according to what you deserve or what you earn because, really, it’s not how He works. He works according to His grace and what He knows is best for you, your family and your calling.”
Noah, who is now almost 18 months old, was adopted into the family, bringing with him a wave of love that washed over every previous heartache. His gentle nature and keen interest in the world around him reflected the depth of Jordan’s own resilience. From the moment he arrived, Noah’s love for music and quiet moments of discovery echoed the patience and hope that had sustained Jordan and Matt through their darkest times.
Shepherd, who is about to turn one, is Jordan’s first biological child to arrive safely into the world. Shep, as Jordan affectionately calls him, burst into their lives with infectious joy and a fearless spirit. His adventurous heart and boundless energy contrast beautifully with Noah’s contemplative quietude, highlighting all the unique traits now woven beautifully into their family. Shep’s presence marked a new beginning, a tangible reminder of the journey’s worth and the fulfillment of a long-held hope.
Being less than six months apart, Noah and Shepherd share a bond that transcends their different beginnings. Together, they represent not just the fulfillment of Jordan’s dream of motherhood and family, but also the diverse paths of love that can lead to a family. Their relationship, marked by moments of both rivalry and deep brotherly affection, mirrors the journey’s complexity that led to their union. In them, Jordan sees not only her own story of perseverance and faith but also the promise of a future filled with laughter, learning and love. Jordan’s story is a poignant reminder that even when our plans fall apart, and our dreams seem out of reach, grace can lead us to new beginnings, often in ways we least expect.
Visit Jordan Dooley’s Website at jordanleedooley.com.
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