Have you ever laughed so hard that your worries seemed to melt away? Maybe it was a funny video on a tough day or a girls’ night out during a difficult season of life. Those moments are the ones I live for because it’s impossible to think about your problems while you’re laughing.
As a stand-up comedian, mom of five, devoted wife and breast cancer survivor, I have made it my life’s mission to bring laughter to the world so others can find hope and healing, even in their darkest times. Whether it’s a punchline about messy kids, a tease about a forgetful husband or a story about getting older, my message is always this: life happens, laugh anyway.
Well, my message really has two parts. Those words of wisdom and these: Get your mammogram! I’m still around today because of a mammogram. I’ve met so many brave cancer survivors who are with us because of this vital screening. I want you to have plenty of moments to laugh until you leak (mommas and my menopause pals, you know what I’m talking about), so please schedule yours today.
I’ll keep bothering you about the importance of mammograms, but as the title of this piece says, the show must go on! So, here’s a little more about me, my life and my hope for the Inspiring Women community.
The prelude
My story starts in DePue, Illinois where I was raised in a loving family. My mother, Joan, was my earliest comedic inspiration with her quick wit and infectious laugh. My father, “Butch,” was a natural-born storyteller who weaved together tales so great, I couldn’t help but learn how to do the same.
Down the street lived my mom’s parents. Growing up during the Great Depression, Grandma Rose was as frugal as they come, always pinching her pennies and reusing whatever she could—including tin foil and gift wrapping paper. Grandpa Joe was a simple man with an eighth grade education but the wisdom of a king. It was a village approach to raising my siblings and me. We were often reminded to value faith, family and hard work.
As I grew up and started thinking about what was next, I knew I wanted to be a writer. I went to college and earned my degree in journalism. I remember crossing the stage to get my diploma and thinking, “Finally, I’m going to be a writer!” But shortly after graduation, I started dating Ron—known lovingly to me as “Muffin”— and he became my husband just a year after our first date. Our five sons—the Mini Muffins—arrived in rapid order after that. In the first 11 years of our marriage, we had become a family of seven. I couldn’t write. I could barely think. My dream was pushed to the back burner for 20 years. But I loved being a wife and mom, and even more, I loved bonding with my mom over this new chapter in my life.
Unfortunately, the chance to share the journey of motherhood with my mom didn’t last as long as we both hoped. At just 47 years old, my mom was diagnosed with bone cancer. For over four years, she fought with everything she had, but eventually, the cancer won. She had lost the fight, and at just 27, I had lost my rock.
This story’s villain
Cancer. It’s a word no one ever wants to hear, especially out of their doctor’s mouth. When I lost my mom, it felt like this heavy weight I couldn’t shake. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2016, it felt like a punch to the gut. Why was it coming for me?
But instead of feeling sorry for myself, I turned to the constants in my life—my faith, my family and laughter.
So many people ask me how I made it through treatment with a smile on my face. The truth is, I didn’t do it on my own. I drew a lot of strength from God. I was blessed with an unshakeable support system. Between my family, my church and my friends, I was surrounded by people ready to uplift me and my family. But most importantly, I thought a lot about my mother and the last time I played cards with her.
The last conscious moment I shared with my mom taught me a lot about life. She was in a hospice bed set up in the corner where we used to put the Christmas tree growing up. She was nearly paralyzed, her bones eaten up by the cancer. When I walked into her room, I was terrified. The pit in my stomach was sinking deeper and deeper because I knew I was losing her and that our family would never be the same. But my mom didn’t sulk or let me cry over her. She grabbed a deck of cards and started dealing them out for a game of rummy.
We laughed as she beat me and laughed harder once I realized she was cheating. We both forgot about the cancer and what was to come. For a moment, she used the last blessings she had—her hands and her wit—to make one last memory with her daughter. Talk about an inspiring moment with an inspiring woman!
I learned that when you face a villain like cancer, don’t sit there counting your disadvantages. Regardless of the cards you’ve been dealt, you are not destined to lose. You can face that monster with the blessings you’ve been given—no matter how small they may seem—and you can begin writing the next chapter of your story.
My second act
The next chapter of my story was actually seven chapters long as I combined my childhood dream of being a journalist and all the lessons I learned being a mom into a book titled Laugh Anyway Mom. At last, I actually became a writer! In the words of the late comedy legend, actress and fellow mom of five Phyllis Diller, this was “a funny book that will make you laugh, cry and take life as it should be—with a grain of salt!”
As I went through the process of bringing Laugh Anyway Mom to fruition, my publishing coach told me I had a real gift for comedy and encouraged me to try stand-up. In true Tracy fashion, the next week I was enrolled in classes at The Second City in downtown Chicago, home to comedy greats like Tina Fey, Steve Carell, John Belushi, Bill Murray, Gilda Radner… the list goes on (and on). My first class was one Sunday right after church, and I walked into a room full of boys my sons’ age. Compared to them, I looked like a middle-aged mom straight out of church, not a woman about to take on four years of open mic nights perfecting her comedy show. But that’s what I did. Forty-eight months of learning what made people laugh and what made me feel authentically funny.
Then came that cancer diagnosis. Before, my comedy shows were all about my day-to-day life. Now, daily life included cancer and radiation, so my show did too. Today, I tour around the country making women laugh and reminding them how important it is to get their mammograms so they too can enjoy their next act.
Our cast of characters
The Inspiring Women community is a diverse cast of strong and resilient women. Knowing so many of you share moments of faith through the email devotionals and that each of you have picked up this magazine to learn and draw inspiration is—well—inspiring.
I hope you feel the same connection with other women who turn to this community for hope and healing. I urge you to dive in deep, attending events and taking every opportunity to grow friendships and find fellowship. This is such a unique opportunity we’ve been given to encourage and uplift one another, and I hope we all take advantage of it.
Finally, I hope you’ll take advantage of this moment to schedule your mammogram. Every woman over the age of 40 should go in for a mammogram once a year. No, you’re not too busy. No, you’re not the exception. As I said before, a regular mammogram is the reason I’m here today, and yours could be the reason you get to stick around with us longer.
And always remember: life happens, laugh anyway.
For more information about Tracy DeGraaf, visit TracyDeGraaf.com. You can also catch her weekly podcast “Life Happens Laugh Anyway” wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes are released every Wednesday at 12 p.m. CT.
Click here to schedule your mammogram appointment today!
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