Not only do mothers wear all of these hats, but their impact is also deep and wide when it comes to shaping the thoughts, attitudes and feelings of their children.
First things first
Setting priorities is important. How we spend time in our day gives our children a glance into how to structure their days. It’s easy to fall down the rabbit hole of time-sucking activities. Who doesn’t love vegging out while watching Netflix or videos of puppies riding on robot vacuums? It’s good to have downtime, but even that should have limits and boundaries.
Routines teach time management. Does your preschooler want to play educational games on their tablet? Clean-up time should come first. Is your middle schooler begging to meet friends for bubble tea? Homework and a clean room are priority-one before they even ask. Make sure your children, no matter their age, respect the work hard/play hard balance in life.
Not everything in life needs to be scheduled, though. Leave some time for adventures! There’s nothing like catching fireflies at dusk on a breezy July night. Visit the farmers market on a random Saturday morning, and let your child choose produce for the week. Grab a stack of books from the nightstand and make story time an anytime event. These little pop-up activities teach your children what’s truly important in life—making memories with family.
Love yourself
This is a tough one. Not everyone feels good about themselves all the time. Our kids take notice of self-talk, pointed comments about our bodies and how we feel about our looks, weight and personality. Our outward discussion of this internal dialogue can influence how children form their own self-images. Fostering positive self-talk for yourself is an important first step.
Scroll through any social media platform, and it won’t take long to find images of “perfect” people. The interpreted message from their photos is that they have it all together. Here’s the truth to pass on to your children: Perfection is unattainable and a lot of pressure. Many adults still struggle to come to terms with this fact, and children lack the maturity to fully comprehend it. Provide an avenue for open dialogue with your child about the images you see online and on television. Encourage them to come to you when they need a reality check.
No phone zones
Our kids constantly observe and take note, including when we’re behind the wheel. If you’re a parent, chances are you spend a lot of time driving from home to school, activities, sleepovers, errands… and the list goes on. Remember who’s traveling with you when you’re tempted to text while driving. Not only is it dangerous to be distracted behind the wheel, but you are influencing future drivers.
When you sit down to dinner, don’t invite your cell phone to join. Studies show that ditching your phone and spending time with your family during meals leads to raising children who exhibit better behavior, more expressive language, greater language comprehension, better social graces and more well-rounded conversational skills.
The phone can wait while you drive to practice or enjoy time with your family.
Patience is a virtue
Instant gratification. Kids believe that the magic card—a debit or credit card— gives us everything, anytime we want it. Burgers. Movies. Gasoline. Cash. Little ones think it’s all available at the swipe of a card.
Teaching patience can be a challenge. When we can shop online at the click of a button, how do we instill the idea of good things coming to those who wait? Delaying gratification may help. Does your daughter want a new lacrosse stick? Tell her that if she saves up a portion of the money, you’ll meet her halfway. Does your son roll his eyes when you tell him a new cellphone isn’t a need but a want? Create a contract that states a year’s worth of excellent studies will get him the new phone.
Instilling a work ethic in your children now will help them later in life. It’s important to remember that personal growth springs from hard work and patience.
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