In the Middle: Thriving in the Sandwich Generation

At a certain point in life, you get stuck in the middle. Your kids are almost grown and out on their own. At the same time, your parents are aging not-so-gracefully, and they need your help, too. It is a phase that no one prepares you for—juggling the demands of parenting while also stepping into the role of caregiver for your parents. Dubbed the “sandwich generation,” this stage of life can feel overwhelming, exhausting and even isolating. But it can also be a time of deep connection, personal growth and discovering what matters.

Finding Balance in the Chaos

Thriving in the sandwich generation requires balance, but balance doesn’t always mean equal parts. Some days, your focus may shift entirely to a child who needs a shoulder to cry on. On other days, you’ll find yourself at a doctor’s appointment advocating for your aging parent. And through it all, you’re still expected to juggle work, household responsibilities and your own self-care—a task that often falls by the wayside.

Begin finding your balance by setting boundaries and asking for help. Whether you involve your siblings in caregiver responsibilities or ask a friend to grab your kids from practice, remember that you don’t have to do it by yourself. Recognizing that you cannot do it all on your own is the first step toward managing expectations and avoiding burnout.

Moments That Matter

Even though this phase is challenging, it is full of meaningful moments. Those long conversations with your teenager, where they are finally opening up to you about their social life or friend drama. The heart-to-heart you have with your dad, who is finally letting his guard down despite never letting his weakness show in the past. These moments remind you why you are in the middle of it all—love for your family and a deeper connection with them.

Focus on all of the positive connections you are building with the generation that came before and the one after you. Celebrate small victories, like a family dinner where everyone is laughing or a quiet morning where your parent shares a story you’ve never heard. These are the moments that turn the chaos into cherished memories. Take a moment to appreciate how close you’ve grown to your loved ones through it all.

Practical Tips for Thriving

Delegate and Outsource: Take advantage of grocery delivery, cleaning companies, friends and family to help you save time and energy.
Prioritize Self-Care: Schedule time for yourself—a walk, your favorite hobby or a quiet cup of coffee might be just the thing you need to recharge.
Communicate: Keep everyone informed of the ups and downs. Transparency will foster teamwork and limit misunderstandings.
Plan Ahead: For your parents, consider financial planning and healthcare proxies. For your kids, look ahead at their schedules and plans and prepare however you can. This way, you are ready for whatever the future may bring.

It's Only for a Season

You’re doing something incredible—loving, supporting and holding your family together in a way only you can. It’s not easy, and some days will stretch you to your limits. But in the middle of the chaos, there are moments of beauty, connection and grace. You are not alone, and you are stronger than you think. Take a deep breath, lean on those who love you and trust that God will give you exactly what you need for today. One day, you’ll look back and see that this season—hard as it is—was filled with love that made it all worthwhile. You’ve got this.