Tips for Giving Compliments
Be Spontaneous
Sometimes we get it in our heads that there will be a clear moment–just the perfect time to compliment someone. But, that is rarely the case. Most of the time, opportunities don’t just come up, and when they do, it doesn’t feel as natural anyway, as it can feel like it was just a conversation starter, rather than a genuine compliment. Don’t let social anxiety prevent you from making someone feel more loved and confident.
Be Specific
Keeping your compliments directed toward one thing helps it feel real. A vague compliment, even when genuine, can feel superficial. For example, saying something like, “you seem happy today,” while genuine may not leave a lasting impression. Instead, you could be more specific with something like, “You have a glowing smile today!” Maybe their smile will start to glow a little more!
Be Sincere
If you didn’t pick it up from the other two tips, we’ll lay it out for you here: be sincere. If you don’t mean it, there’s no reason for you to say it. We can all pick up general social cues to know when sincerity is present, so when you compliment someone it can hurt to feel like it was insincere. On the flip side, when someone can tell a compliment is genuine, it has much more of a positive impact.
Tips for Receiving Compliments
Don’t Be Embarrassed
It can be weird to receive a compliment. For a variety of reasons, many of us get uncomfortable when someone simply tries to lift us up. It’s ok to be a little embarrassed, not everyone likes being in the limelight, even if only for a short conversation. Just smile and say thank you!
Accept It
Probably the hardest part of receiving a compliment today is accepting it. As a reflex, many of us will deflect it in response, saying that our shoes are actually pretty scuffed, or we got lucky. We all know it wasn’t luck that got you that job. You earned it. Allow yourself the space to accept the compliment, and thank the person for acknowledging that beautiful thing about you.
Cherish It
Finally, let that acceptance run its course. Let yourself take a little pride in yourself. You stood out enough to someone for them to tell you! It’s not wrong to enjoy that feeling. However, there’s no need to make a big fuss about it. When the joy and pride inside you is internal, it can be an incredible point for some growth in loving yourself, just don’t get carried away. This can be difficult, but with a little practice and patience, you’ll find a healthy balance.
Whether with friends, family or in your day-to-day workplace, compliments can be a tricky thing to navigate. Most importantly though, let them happen. Graciously accept the ones that come your way, and lovingly give out a few to those around you. A simple idea, yet a challenging practice that will help spread joy everywhere you go.
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