Green with Envy

Jealousy. Envy. Covet. Want. No matter the word choice, jealousy is real. When envious feelings occur, it can be difficult to stop these thoughts from gaining strength. The result? Not only do you covet what someone else has, you also become upset with yourself for having these thoughts in the first place. We kid around about being green with envy over anonymous Powerball winners. Yet what should we do when resentment builds between friends? Here are some ways to handle jealousy in friendships.

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Welcome to the club

Everyone has been jealous of a friend at one time or another. It’s normal. You’re human. It becomes a problem, however, when jealousy is unhealthy or obsessive. The roots of envy can quickly turn to bitterness and resentment if we’re not careful. Our minds are the worst at getting things twisted. There’s a reason we’re told to guard our hearts and minds, isn’t there?


Acknowledge your feelings

If you can’t be honest with yourself, it’s hard to be truthful with anyone else. Get real with yourself about how you feel. Then dive in a little deeper and dissect why. What is it about your friend’s news, situation or experience that makes you upset? Is there someone or something new taking up their time? That’s a tough one. It can feel like the sting of rejection. It can be hard to look in the mirror and come to terms with how our happiness for someone turned into full-blown envy. Once we acknowledge the root, though, it’s easier to move past these feelings and begin healing the relationship.


Manage the competition

From tallying followers on social media to things you’ve worked hard for that seem to effortlessly come your friend’s way, it can be difficult to keep friendly match-ups friendly. These are not forever feelings. Again, if jealousy is becoming your sole friendship focus, find a way to gather yourself, take control of your thoughts and set your mind right. Concentrate on your own accomplishments, achievements and blessings rather than what’s happening in everyone else’s world.


Talk about it

This can sometimes seem almost paralyzing, but when we let our feelings fester, they will multiply and build walls in our relationships. When we open up and discuss the green-eyed monster, we diminish its power. Talking about jealousy can bond you and your friend closer together. Don’t worry about the can of worms you may be opening. Honest conversations can lead to more truth-revealing talks. 

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